Tuesday, December 29, 2015

12 Superpowers Every Mom Gains in the First Year of Her Child's Life

I was in the dark, like most mortals are before they have children. Don't get me wrong, as a child I knew they would make everything better. Even though that power faded as I got older, deep down I knew something was still different about mothers.

It wasn't until I actually became a parent I knew why: All mothers are superheros. I'm not joking, and to prove it to you I am going to let you in on a big secret. A mother gains a superpower a month in the first year of her child's life. 

Month 1: She Can Live Without Sleep
She doesn't even know how she is doing it, but she can go a full 30 days without sleep. There are event times during this month she actually doesn't even feel tired, like she is just used to this new way of living.

Month 2: Super Human Hearing
Her baby stirs and she can hear it. It's almost not even noise, but a sixth sense that wakes her. Spouses absolutely do not and will never have this power.

Month 3: Extreme Speed Eating
She can scarf a meal faster than  Kobayashi goes through 50 hot dogs. She's learned not to mess with an opportunity to eat. She never knows when that elusive food window will suddenly close, and she has learned to not tempt fate.
Moms got it under control 
Month 4: Super Showers
After months of being pretty damn dirty she has finally mastered the art of the mom shower. She has the timing of when to jump in down to a science. And she cleans the dirtiest bits first just in case she needs to jump out with a second's notice.

Month 5: Feeding Queen
She is a milking maven. What used to be so confusing is now second nature. She can feed her baby where ever she wants without stressing, sweating, or worrying. She's had a steep learning curve, and is damn proud of every ounce her child has gained.

Month 6: Deciphering Cries
She's learned a whole new language in 6 months. Tired? Bored? Hungry? She can tell just from a subtle sound.

Month 7: Super Scent
She had an extreme taste of this superpower while she was pregnant, smelling things no average human could. Now the power is used mostly to smell dirty diapers the instant they happen.

Month 8: Super Human Sight
She can see the tiniest things on the floor that no one else can. And it's a good thing, because it seems her baby has inherited this superpower, and is oddly drawn to every single tiny choking hazard they can find. 

Month 9: Super Human Strength
Carrying a baby on her hip leads to her dominant hand becoming a force to be reckoned with. Everything can be done with one hand now, and things that used to be heavy feel like a feather.

Month 10: Expert Chef
At first figuring out what to feed her baby was overwhelming. Now she has snacks ready on a whim, and meals figured out for the baby way before her own dinner.

Month 11: Super Intuition
This is one of the greatest superpowers in a mothers life, and it is just starting to be honed now. She knows if something is wrong with her child even if no one else agrees, and she also knows, just by the sound of silence, when her child is up to no good. This power only strengthens as the years go on.

Month 12: The Ability to Forget Pain
It was only a year ago she had one of the most painful experiences of her life, but yet thoughts of doing it all over again begin to creep in. 


So now you know. Mothers are different because they are superheros. They even might be able to leap from tall buildings, if they had to. Regardless, they are always aware that with great power, comes great responsibility.


What's your superpower?


Tuesday, December 22, 2015

I Don't Care If My 1 Year Old Celebrates Christmas

I'm usually a pretty big fan of Christmas, but this year, I can't really be bothered. Last year was a write off because my son was only about a month old, and I was a frazzled new mom. So what's my excuse this year? I don't really know. Maybe I'm just lazy.

Boy sits on Santa's kneeRecently I was asked if I was putting up a Christmas tree. Haha... good one. Hell no I'm not putting a tree up! I don't care if my son would get 20 minutes of holiday joy a day looking at the lights and decorations. Do you know how my entire day would be spent?

"No, get away from the tree!"
"Don't touch the decorations, they are for looking not touching!"
"Please don't put the 'everything-you-can-touch' in your mouth!"
"Be Careful! You're going to pull the tree down!"

And all of this talk, every minute of every day, would be to a person who either doesn't understand what I am telling him, or doesn't give a fuck. I haven't quite figured out how smart he is yet.

I was also caught off guard the other day when someone asked what Santa was bringing my son for Christmas. I say caught off guard, because Santa is not bringing him anything for Christmas, and I didn't know what to tell her. My kid doesn't know who Santa is, so why would I bother? It's not like he is starving or desperate for anything at all. Whatever he needs, I buy him, and more. So is it really necessary to get him a gift, when he doesn't care?

I feel like I will invest more into this all when he does. Right now I'm focusing my energy on things that are actually important. Who knows though, maybe this whole Christmas thing has just become too overwhelming, and I'll always be shit at it.

So what do you think? Am I a lazy Grinch mom, or does it make sense to not do much for a 1 year old for Christmas? Let me know, I can handle it.

Boy holds Christmas Present

Genevieve

Thursday, December 17, 2015

The Truth About Why Being a New Mom Is Hard

I've been doing some reflecting recently on the first few months of motherhood. I really found being a new mom challenging. With a one year old now running around and getting into everything, I look back at those early days and wonder what the hell was so hard? Babies have such basic needs: they don't move around, you have complete control over them... so why was I crying every day? Why was it so damn difficult?

After careful thought, I think I finally have some answers:


  • It wasn't the baby that was hard, it was the reality finally hitting me that my life was never going to be the same, and having to actually accept that. 

Sunday, December 13, 2015

Pictures With Santa Are Damn Expensive

I recently went to go check out my local mall Santa with my one year old son, and got serious sticker shock. What the hell has happened to Santa? This is all new new to me, so how long have pictures with Santa been so damn expensive?

Price Sheet for Santa Photos
My family is doing fine financially, and I do not know if I can justify the expense of a picture with our local mall Santa. Where is the harm in letting my son meet the big guy in red and allowing me to take a couple photos myself? Or even charging me a nominal fee to take my own photos? At my local mall the cheapest option is to have one photo printed for $22.

I can understand paying a good amount of money for a photo shoot with a professional photographer for your Christmas card. These people capture your family in a variety of poses and and provide a good quantity of edited pictures. But how the hell does a mall production where you sit on Santa's knee and smile end up costing up to $100?

Monday, November 30, 2015

The Best and Easiest Protein Pancakes for Babies

Ever since my son started eating solids, getting him to eat protein has been a struggle. I think partly because like many babies he's been slow to get teeth, which makes eating meat a challenge, but also because he just seems to prefer anything sweet over savory.

I mentioned this problem to my sister, and she passed me on a recipe for protein pancakes that are a staple in her house. I consider myself a pretty good baker, but these protein pancakes took a few tries before they really worked (I blame mom brain because they are ridiculously easy). The funny thing is, no mater how mangled they looked, my baby devoured them. Even today when I was making them he ate a pancake and a half, and this was after finishing his dinner!

Yummy Easy Protein Pancakes for my baby belly

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

To My Boy - On His First Birthday

I'm not sure if it's normal, but I find myself visualizing bad things on a fairly regular basis. Usually it's when I'm in the car; I'll see a horrible accident that doesn't happen. But sometimes I just think about what would happen if I wasn't around anymore.

The thought of my death never used to bother me, before I was a mom. It was never one of my fears, in fact I sometimes would wish I died in a really spectacular way, like a plane crash or shark attack, rather than in my sleep or of an old age illness. But now I have to live. Someone in the world really depends on me, and if I was to die soon it could really fuck him up.

Monday, November 9, 2015

I Don't Know How to Raise A Boy

Approaching 20 weeks into my pregnancy I was excited and nervous. Not only would it be the first (and only) time I actually saw the baby growing inside of me, but I was going to find out the gender of my child. 

I didn't realize how important gender was to me until I actually heard the words 'It's a boy'. I had wanted a boy. I was elated. But about two days later my head started to spin. I didn't know anything about boys! What the hell was I going to do with a little boy?

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

The 3 C's I Won't Discuss Online


Recently a story broke about a baby who died in Ontario as a result of a routine circumcision. It is tragic, and a reminder that all surgery comes with risks. The article, no matter where it was posted, came with a barrage of heated comments, both justifying and attacking the procedure. 

These comments put a spotlight on something I have been thinking about for some time: There are 3 C's in parenting that I will not discuss online. No matter how tempting, I refuse to contribute to them. 


The 1st C: Circumcision
I have a son. I had to make a choice to either do, or not do this procedure. I did a ton of research on circumcision, read countless articles and comments about it, and I have a very one sided opinion. But I won't tell you what it is online. I won't comment on any article about circumcision, no matter how bad I want to get my opinion across to those who disagree.

Friday, October 2, 2015

Your Child Is Alive, Job Done.

Forget the emotional attachment. Forget the fact that an alive human squished out of your body. Even forget those heart stopping moments of pure unabashed love. Sometimes having a kid comes down to the basics -- like literally just keeping them alive. And we don't really appreciate the fact that when it all boils down, that is really what our job as parents is. Let's change that:

Has your kid not reached that milestone all his peers have? Fuck it, you've kept him alive! And that's pretty amazing. 

Did your child cry today? Are they still alive? Way to go mama! You did your job!

Did you child spit out or throw every morsel of food you gave them? He's still alive isn't he? Job done!

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

The Worry

"Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?"
"It really doesn't matter, I just want them to be healthy."

Before I was pregnant I thought this exchange was habitual and meaningless. An automatic response from parents-to-be that hid their gender preference in case they didn't have what they really wanted. I didn't understand that really, more than anything, parents just want their kids to be healthy.

Sunday, August 30, 2015

Postpartum Self Esteem Hits (And How To Fix It)

I have never been the 'hot girl', and to be honest most of my life I couldn't have cared less. I was confident. I wore a bikini even though I was a size 14, I knew I was smart, driven, and many days I felt like a Phenomenal Woman.

Then I had a baby.

Now I'm super self conscious and unhappy with my looks. I've been trying to figure out what happened, why I've changed, and I think I've narrowed it down to these things...


I Haven't Lost All The Baby Weight
When you are pregnant so much focus gets placed on your looks. Of course most people are very careful to tell you how beautiful you are, but still - if you aren't used to your appearance being a main topic of discussion it is quite alarming. It's no surprise this becomes even more of an issue after you have the baby. I can't even count how many discussions I've had about my weight, and how much focus gets put on being back to where you were (or better than) before you got pregnant.

For the record, I added 40 pounds during my pregnancy, lost 35 in the first few months postpartum, and gained 5 recently.

Not Dressing Well
I always tried to look good when going to work or for evenings out with friends. I don't work or go out much anymore. The rare times I do, I don't have the same amount of leisure time to spend coiffing and primping. The result is my reflection looking kind of bla on a regular basis. I'm certainly not a total frump, but I just don't make the effort like I used to.

Compared To Other Moms
I feel like an adequate mom, and I'm not insecure about my ability to be a parent. But I do compare myself to other moms a lot. Online, at the mall, in my mommy and baby classes... there is always a mom doing absolutely everything better than me. No matter what it is there is always someone better.

Postpartum Body Changes
A lot of things change after a baby and many of those things are hard to come to terms with. Lucky me, I got the gift of postpartum acne. So while I can hide the stretch marks on my tummy, I cant cover up a face full of zits.

Negative Self Talk
I heard people mention negative inner dialogue before, and while I of course didn't always feel awesome, I never really thought horrible things about my body or image. Now I find myself thinking degrading things about myself numerous times a day. It almost seems like the more bad things I say to myself the worse I feel, and the more negative thoughts appear. It's a vicious cycle.


SO.... I don't have a grand life changing plan or an expert's advice, but here's what I am going to do about it:



Be Healthier
Screw focusing on the baby weight. I want to be healthy, meaning I want to make healthier decisions than I did yesterday. Any time I am presented with an option I want to choose the better one. I know this will do a tremendous amount for my confidence, and as a bonus my son gets a healthier mom.

Positive Playlist
I love singing along to some good tunes, so I figure if I make an effort to listen to positive self image music I will be changing my inner dialogue without even realizing it.

Get Professional Help
... With my skin I mean. I just learned that it can take up to a year for the pregnancy hormones to leave your body, and even longer if you breastfed, so I still have a ways to go before my levels normalize. But if after that time I still am having skin issues I am going to see a dermatologist.

Get Dressed Up Once A Week
It sounds like a meager goal but I figure if I get dressed up, and spend a good amount of time doing my hair and makeup once a week - even if I have no reason to, I will feel a bit better about myself.


If you are feeling some of the same things as me lets try and change together!
You can do it, and P.S, I think you are fucking sexy.

- Genevieve



Sunday, August 23, 2015

Hungover Parenting Strategies

We all know hangovers suck, but trust me, parenting first thing in the morning with a hangover is so much worse than you could imagine. After going through a particularly rough day recently I decided to share some strategies to dealing with your infant when you feel like a guilty dirty shameful excuse for a mom or dad.

Give Your Kid All the Things
You know all the things your child wants to touch but they never get to play with? Now is the time to give them to him. Let him play with whatever makes him the happiest and whatever keeps him occupied for the longest time so you can cry into the seam of the couch and try to pull it together

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Notes For An Expecting Dad

My friend, any day now your life is about the change in a big way. While I’m still pretty new at it myself I thought I could share a few thoughts from my first steps into fatherhood.

You will be overwhelmed:
There is a lot of new shit to learn all at once when you become a dad and there will be times when you don't know what you're doing. When your baby won't stop crying, then your wife starts crying because you guys can’t figure out why, just remember it happens to everyone. Ask the dads you know for advice, read a few of the many articles your wife will surely be forwarding to you, and take solace in that fact that far stupider people than us have been managing to keep their babies alive for millennia. You'll be fine.

You will see things that can't be unseen:
When you look between your wife's legs and see that head start making its way out, there's no coming back from that. The only consolation is that it is such a shocking scene that you completely forget about the previous context that region held. What you will see that day is not a vagina, it is a birth canal, and the two should never be confused for one another. That being said it's a truly amazing experience and, not to worry, it all goes back to normal once you're finally allowed to see it again.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Choosing My Family Could Mean the End of My Career

Being able to stay at home with the kids is a dream for many people. For most, the choice is financial; supporting a family on one income is not easy, and many can't make it work even though they want to. Because the end of maternity leave is nearing for myself and many of the moms I know, going back to work has been a huge point of discussion. It seems that most women I talk to or read about online really wish they could stay home with their kids, and not go back to work. So why do I not have this feeling? Why did I cry and feel like I was mourning a loss the day I resigned from my job?

With Terry and Deaner on BT Vancouver
Logically I realize resigning was the right thing for me to do, otherwise I wouldn't have done it. But it doesn't make it any easier. I must admit, the day I sent in my resignation I looked at my son, happily playing with his toys, and I resented him. It was his fault my career dreams were over. And I cried.

You see, the problem is I worked in a dying industry. I was a producer in broadcast TV and I loved my job. I worked hard, and I took pride in my career accomplishments. But during my maternity leave things took a turn for the worse in the broadcast environment in Canada. The CRTC brought in new regulations which reduced the number of hours each day Canadian programs must be broadcast, thus threatening many local shows. On top of this hundreds of people were laid-off in the past year at City and the CBC: this in an industry where jobs are already scarce. What this all boils down to is that I had a great job I loved waiting for me when my maternity leave was over, and because I decided to resign I may never find work in broadcast TV again.
Cleaning up pee from a 15 foot snake

I had many reasons for not going back to work, but the main ones were that my job was in Montreal and my husband and I decided to move to Calgary so we could be closer to family and he could have better work opportunities (he is an electrician). All the main TV stations exist in Calgary, and if I didn't have a child I would absolutely go apply to all of them and get my name on a temp or fill in list and work my way back up. However, because my husband will likely be doing camp work and will be gone for weeks at a time, I need to find employment during daycare hours. It's pretty rare to find a TV job between the hours of 7am-5pm Monday to Friday, and so I find a roadblock in the industry that I love because I have a family.

The thought of not working in broadcast TV again really hurts. I was making my way up a ladder that is hard to grab hold of. I was respected and was confident in my skills. Of course, things weren't perfect with my job, and I wasn't perfect at it, but I was successful and on my way to even bigger things. For me, work was something I enjoyed, and that I miss after being away from. The thought of being at home with my son as a stay at home mom does not excite me. I worry that I will be bored. I worry that I won't feel fulfilled.

Working my boobs off at Taste of Edmonton
I want to have personal successes that don't involve being a mom. I want to interact with adults again and have conversations that aren't centered around naps and poop and baby milestones. But what kind of job can I get if TV isn't an option for me anymore? I have no idea how any of the skills I have honed in broadcasting transfer to any other industries. I am a great producer. What the hell else can I do? And how will any employer who doesn't understand broadcasting be interested in hiring me? I guess going back to school and completely changing careers is a very real option at this point. But there is nothing else I want to do other than what I did. Sure, I can arbitrarily chose something that makes financial sense and works well in my new schedule, but it's hard to think about doing a job that I don't feel passionate about.

I really don't resent my son, even though I felt that way for a moment. It's not his fault I am in this position. This is a result of my own choices, and I will have to accept whatever my future holds. There are days I wish I could change things, but I know that ultimately my family is the most important part of my life. I just wish honouring that didn't mean having to give up such a big part of my identity.

The first days of BT Montreal


Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Mom Myths That (Thankfully) Weren't True

There are a lot of scary truths that hit you smack in the face when you are pregnant and have a baby. Things you never imagined doing or seeing become a reality. But there are other things people tell you to expect that just aren't true - or at least they weren't for me. Here are a few myths about having a baby that I am very happy weren't true.

1) Having A Baby Is Expensive
I know the cost will become more of an issue as my son gets older, but so far expenses haven't been too bad. Breastfeeding, while certainly having an emotional toll and causing you to eat a bit more, is free. There are countless mommy networks around every community with second hand clothes and play things, not to mention all the gifts and hand-me-downs from friends and family. Look on Craigslist or kijiji for some great used dressers/change tables, strollers, and cribs to offset some of the biggest costs.


2) Your Breasts Will Be Ruined After Breastfeeding
This myth really freaked me out. I have never had a lot going on for me physically, but my boobs have always been pretty good. Once I finished breastfeeding I nervously awaited my deflated, nipples-facing-the-ground fate. But you know what? It never happened. Yes, they are different than pre-baby, but they aren't bad. They are still roughly the same size, just softer. And you know what? I kind of like them.


3) You Won't Be Able To Travel
I get a lot of bug eyed stares when I tell people how much we have traveled with our son already. When he was a month and a half we took two weeks over Christmas and drove six hours away, and then flew to visit my husbands family from there. At 2.5 months we went to Mexico for a week and got married. Since then we have been on many more trips (some of them even solo - just me and my son). We have gone camping, and we plan to go again in a couple weeks. This all before my son is nine months old.
Now, I have a lot of things I could say about traveling with a baby, and if you have any questions please feel free ask me, but since that isn't the focus of this article I'll just give these tips: The younger a baby is, the easier it is to travel with them. I know it sounds crazy, but when they are still in the stage where they sleep anywhere - take advantage of it. And lastly, the more often you get out and go places, even when it seems scary and uncomfortable, the easier it gets.


4) You Won't Have Alone Time With Your Partner
I am insanely jealous of people with family close by. My husband and I happen to live in a city without anyone we know near us. If you have people you trust around you, take advantage of it. Go on a date night even if its just for an hour to the restaurant down the street.  While we don't have that option, at about 3 months my son started getting on a schedule where he went to sleep around 7pm. I was nervous about being on a rigid schedule at first, but to be honest it has been one of the best things for our marriage. Once the boy is in bed, we have a couple hours to ourselves; to talk or veg out on TV or even (once I was healed and ready) head to the bedroom.


5) You Have To 'Pump And Dump'
I like a good alcoholic beverage, and once my pregnancy was over I was really looking forward to being able to have a couple drinks. I had heard a lot about pumping and dumping (the theory that when you drink alcohol you need to expel the milk that comes down after and throw it away because it is dangerous for the baby to drink). I had a lot of questions when I first started breastfeeding, and after extensive research I found so much help reading what Dr. Jack Newman had to say. His research shows that not only is pumping and dumping literally pointless, but if you have a few drinks and feel good enough to drive, you are fine to breastfeed. His research goes into so much more depth than about just drinking, but if you want to read some more myths about breastfeeding click on this link to view great article from his team.


6) You Won't Be Able To Go Out With Friends Or Alone
I thought that once I had a baby I wouldn't be able to see my friends and go out for a girls night anymore. When your baby goes to sleep for the evening, and if you have a supportive partner or trusted family member, you can totally go out! Pump some milk for a bottle if you are breastfeeding and let someone else take the night shift every once in a while. Having some alone or friend time has been essential to my sanity, and has made me a better mom, because I end up missing my boy and can't wait to see him after I get a little break from the mom routine. 


What scary things were you told to expect about being a mom that just didn't end up being true?

Feeding the boy in Waterton National Park



Thursday, July 16, 2015

7 Ways My 8 Month Old is Exactly Like A Dog

It's become very clear lately that my 8 month old son has a lot in common with a dog.

Here are 7 examples of what I mean:

1) The most obvious: he crawls on all fours. 

Monday, July 6, 2015

Love Letter to Non-Mom Friends

I always heard when you had a baby your friends would change - Your childless BFFs would slowly be phased out of your life, and the people with kids around you would become your new lifeline. And while I have made some amazing new mommy friends who I could not have got through these first few motherhood months without, I have come to appreciate my non-mom friends more than ever. Here's why:

Non-Mom Friends Can Go Out Late
It's a rare night that I have the energy to go out for a nice dinner and glass of wine, but when it happens I need someone who is down to go out NOW. Mom friends are often busy with their families, or tired, or it's their night to go out tomorrow. It is difficult to make two mom's schedules work together.
Thank you non-mom friend, for always being there for me whenever it works for me.

Non-Mom Friends Don't Talk About Kids
I love my son, and I love talking about him. But I spend the majority of my awake time with him. My mom friends and I can talk about nap training and poop texture and milestones for hours. And sometimes it all just gets a bit monochromatic. Sometimes I want to talk about anything other than kids. I want to hear about a life that doesn't involve kids. I want to not even say the word 'kids' for an evening.
Thank you non-mom friend, for helping me remember the other aspects of my life to talk about.

Non-Mom Friends Look Current
Since I had my son I have not kept up with fashion trends. Don't get me wrong, I'm not always in sweats and a tank top, but when I do dress up it's in clothes I bought before I got pregnant. My shopping experience has gone from a leisurely enjoyable day to a ten minute scramble where I grab anything in my size, try to fit my stroller into a change room, and hope my son doesn't have a meltdown before I can find something that (please!) just fits.
Thank you non-mom friend, for being my go-to gal for what is on trend in the current year.

Non-Mom Friends Can Drink
I used to be able to party pretty hard. I don't know if I am bragging or complaining, but a fact is a fact. Nowadays having a few too many drinks is slightly frightening, because with a baby there is no sleeping off a hangover. But sometimes, I need to let loose. Sometimes I need a friend who is going to share a bottle of wine with me and then not hesitate to order another, because they don't have to get up at 6am and be responsible for another human.
Thank you non-mom friend, for being a great girl to get wasted with.

So here's to all the non-mom friends who help to ground and lighten the lives of moms all over the world. You are unselfish and so supportive of us. We love you!



Monday, June 29, 2015

I am a Horrible Selfish Mom: I Weaned My Baby.

When my son was born I knew nothing about breastfeeding. It was terribly ignorant of me to just think everything would be fine, even though I had heard it was hard. What the hell did that mean? How could breastfeeding be hard? Your baby opens his mouth, in goes your nipple, and bam!, milk starts a flowin'. The reality for me was not that simple. It was 6 weeks of pain and bleeding and crying and feeding every hour and a half.

But this post is not about that, because in the end I figured it out. I sought the help of a lactation consultant, and my son was diagnosed with a tongue tie. After 6 weeks things were great. Perfect, in fact I would say. I had no need to supplement ever with formula. My son was gaining weight famously. It was another bodily miracle, and I was proud.

Fast forward to when son was 6 months old. Now, in my head I had never placed a time limit for how long I would breastfeed. I just thought, "I'll do it as long as I can". But what about what I wanted? Forget my ability, forget what I could do, what about my desires as an actual individual person? 

Friday, May 8, 2015

Fundamental Post Baby Changes

I am now almost 6 months postpartum and have begun to notice some really really super serious fundamental changes to my personality. Things I would have never thought or done before are now commonplace. Below are 6 examples of what I mean.


Leggings are absolutely acceptable pants.
In my 20s I talked a lot of shit on women who wore leggings as pants. Especially when they weren't the most fit people. Well thank you world, because you have taught me a lesson. Spandex are 100% fine to wear out anywhere at anytime. You see, even though I've lost the majority of my 'baby weight', my body is not the same. Things are in different places. My pre-pregnancy pants were bought for a body that doesn't exist anymore. It's not about being fatter or bigger, its about being a different shape. I don't think I would have worn pants at all in the months after giving birth if it wasn't for these stretchy gifts from god. So legging ladies, I formally apologize for my stupid judgmental ways.

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Shower Schizophrenia

So true!!! Haven't had a shower since my son was born that I didn't hear crying...

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

To My Pregnant Sister...

My sister: I am so happy you are pregnant and going to have a sweet baby soon. But thinking back to when my son was born 4 months ago, I realize that I might have said some things about birth and being a new mom that scared you. So I wanted to clarify them for you now. 

When I said labour was hell...

I meant it. 
The uncertainty was so scary. The contractions were the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. My water breaking was weird and gross and felt like the biggest period of my life gushing every time I stood up... for 18 hours straight. I screamed and cried and yelled just like the movies, but way longer. I told the nurse I couldn't do it, because I really didn't think I could.

Monday, March 2, 2015

Nap Math

Sometimes I feel like my life as a new mom is a complicated math question...

If Eli's nap time is in ten minutes, and you have an appointment in an hour and fifteen minutes and it takes twenty five minutes to drive to that appointment, should you:

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Reflections On 3 Months




As I nursed you tonight
I had a little cry. 
Thinking of this 3 months 
and how fast it's gone by. 

3 months ago today
we met for the first time. 
Your first moments lying on my chest
were pure joy - no crying. 

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

All Inclusive Infant Travel Tips

I recently took my 2.5 month old son to an all inclusive resort in Mexico. Yes, I am crazy, but it was kind of important to go, because I was getting married there.


Before the trip I searched online for tips about traveling with an infant and found some helpful articles, but nothing that gave advice that wasn't common sense. So I thought I'd contribute some not as obvious thoughts for those who could be in the same situation as I was.

Pack an extra outfit for the baby and yourself on the plane
As you probably already know, babies poop a lot. I had the fabulous fortune of having my son do a blow out right as we were landing in Cancun, with a 20min delay on the tarmac. Poop leaked all through his clothes onto my arm and leg. Luckily I had an outfit to change him into, but I didn't have one for myself, so I lived in poopy clothes that day. 
Even if you don't have a shit storm happen on the flight, a cooler weather appropriate outfit is a great idea to change your child into before you land; The Cancun airport was super hot and hardly Canadian winter clothing appropriate. 


Sunday, January 18, 2015

Ten Things You Need For Your Newborn

When I was pregnant I never really got the nesting urge. I think part of the problem was I really didn't know what the hell I needed to buy. I had almost nothing for the baby around my due date, so I made a couple panicked shopping trips stocking up on random things. On top of this I never had a baby shower so I didn't have much given to me.

And guess what? I survived just fine with the little I had, and what I didn't have, but needed, I figured out very quickly and went and bought it (or more precisely had someone go buy for me). So with this in mind, here are my ten things every new mom needs to have to get through the first month - The real basics that will guide you past that crazy haze, so you don't have useless clutter during an already overwhelming month:

1) Car seat
Required to bring baby home in car. I have the Chicco KeyFit 30 and I love it. 

Friday, January 16, 2015

Holy shit. I'm a mom.

I always thought moms were 'different'. That something fundamentally changed inside when you became a mom. I looked at them differently. I judged them.

I'm only 2 months into this gig but I am all sorts of confused, because I still just feel like me. In fact if someone were to ask me if I had kids, I might hesitate because most of the time I don't feel 'mom' like.