I Have A Baby, But Don't Know How

I am getting to that time of my life where many people around me are having babies. I, obviously, also have a child. But every person's journey to how that child comes to be is different.

Before I started 'trying' to have a baby I assumed it would take a couple months to get pregnant, at least. My husband and I got engaged because we knew we wanted to start a family. So once the engagement was over, I thought we might as well throw caution to the wind and stop using any birth control.

I've had conversations with friends about what I did to get pregnant. Did I track my fertility? Did I do strange cultural practices? Did it take a long time? The truth is, I did nothing. Well that's not totally true... I did track my period on an app for my own knowledge, and the app did tell me what days I was more fertile. But other than that, I did nothing. The first time it was possible to create a human, we did. 

The Look

Out running errands with my toddler in tow, I often find myself giving other parents The Look.

Sometimes this look is reciprocated, and it makes me feel connected to them, like we are all part of the Borg or something - thinking with a shared brain going through the same motions and experiencing the same thing.

There are other times I give the The Look, and I feel like I might have done something wrong. Like I'm a bad parent or I offended the other parent or embarrassed them. This is never the intention of The Look.

I think, mostly, I give The Look because of a need for connection. But it's meaning is constantly changing.

At first with a newborn The Look meant "OHMYFUCKINGGOD what have we got ourselves into?!" It was a much more desperate look.

Not Quite Ready For Baby #2

When is the right time to have baby #2? That is what I find myself wondering lately. It seems everyone and their dog has an opinion about it.

"Oh... you are going to have 2 before 2? That's going to be hard."

"Three years apart is the perfect age gap."

"When is the next baby coming? You don't want them to be too far apart!"

You wouldn't believe how many complete strangers have asked me if I want another child. I feel very awkward answering them.

Essential Accessories for Camping with Children

Taking your littles camping this summer? Check out the article I wrote for FamilyFunCanada.com about the essential accessories for camping with young children! 

....Oh, and an excellent tip about camping with wine is included! 

Read More

What If Your Office Job Was Like Being A Parent?

Believe it or not, before I was a mom I worked for a living. I worked a lot. I loved my job and I invested passion and energy into my industry. With over a decade of work experience, it's hard not to compare parenting to a regular job. What would the differences be? How are things easier, or more difficult? 

Check out this comprehensive list below, and if you can relate, have a laugh with me at the reality of our new-found parenting lives.

The Worry

"Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?"

"It really doesn't matter, I just want them to be healthy."

Before I was pregnant I thought this exchange was habitual and meaningless. An automatic response from parents-to-be that hid their gender preference in case they didn't have what they really wanted. I didn't understand that really, more than anything, parents just want their kids to be healthy.

Hungover Parenting Strategies

We all know hangovers suck, but trust me, parenting first thing in the morning with a hangover is so much worse than you could imagine. After going through a particularly rough day recently I decided to share some strategies to dealing with your infant when you feel like a guilty dirty shameful excuse for a mom or dad.

Give Your Kid All the Things
You know all the things your child wants to touch but they never get to play with? Now is the time to give them to him. Let him play with whatever makes him the happiest and whatever keeps him occupied for the longest time so you can cry into the seam of the couch and try to pull it together

Notes For An Expecting Dad

My friend, any day now your life is about the change in a big way. While I’m still pretty new at it myself I thought I could share a few thoughts from my first steps into fatherhood.

You will be overwhelmed:
There is a lot of new shit to learn all at once when you become a dad and there will be times when you don't know what you're doing. When your baby won't stop crying, then your wife starts crying because you guys can’t figure out why, just remember it happens to everyone. Ask the dads you know for advice, read a few of the many articles your wife will surely be forwarding to you, and take solace in that fact that far stupider people than us have been managing to keep their babies alive for millennia. You'll be fine.

You will see things that can't be unseen:
When you look between your wife's legs and see that head start making its way out, there's no coming back from that. The only consolation is that it is such a shocking scene that you completely forget about the previous context that region held. What you will see that day is not a vagina, it is a birth canal, and the two should never be confused for one another. That being said it's a truly amazing experience and, not to worry, it all goes back to normal once you're finally allowed to see it again.

Parental Over-Posters

Many people who see the link to this blog won't click on it. Some have genuinely zero interest in kids or parenting issues, or my thoughts, but others won't out of a deep annoyance with the new parents in their life.

And who can blame them? A large percentage of new parents are what I call 'over-posters'. All of their social media platforms are riddled with pictures of their kids. All of their status updates or tweets are about babies, breastfeeding, or how many times they have been shit on today. They post 6 photos of Suzie at the park instead of picking the one best that gets the point across. They basically never post anything other than child related things, like they have no life outside of their kids.

Well I've just discovered something that might make those people who are annoyed lighten up a bit:

These new parents actually have no other life to post about.