Monday, July 25, 2016

I Have A Baby, But Don't Know How

I am getting to that time of my life where many people around me are having babies. I, obviously, also have a child. But every person's journey to how that child comes to be is different.

Before I started 'trying' to have a baby I assumed it would take a couple months to get pregnant, at least. My husband and I got engaged because we knew we wanted to start a family. So once the engagement was over, I thought we might as well throw caution to the wind and stop using any birth control.

I've had conversations with friends about what I did to get pregnant. Did I track my fertility? Did I do strange cultural practices? Did it take a long time? The truth is, I did nothing. Well that's not totally true... I did track my period on an app for my own knowledge, and the app did tell me what days I was more fertile. But other than that, I did nothing. The first time it was possible to create a human, we did. 

I was pregnant so close to my engagement (about 3 weeks later) that I think many of my friends and family must have thought we got engaged because we were pregnant. But that simply isn't so, it was just immediately afterwards.

So why am I telling you this? I just want it to be known that just because I have a child does not mean I know anything about conceiving a child. I was purely lucky; I tried and it happened. I have many friends who struggled or are still struggling to create a human. Planning and treatments and miscarriages and so much love and care and hope... These are the people who know about what it takes to have a child. 

In fact, just because a woman doesn't actually have a child certainly doesn't mean she isn't more knowledgeable than me, and many others, about fertility and conception.

I'm just a lucky dumb mom that got knocked up on the first try. In reality I know nothing about what it takes to create a life. Seeing a woman with or without a child doesn't determine her success or her worth. And it certainly doesn't determine her capacity to love.

All of my good vibes and thoughts to the mamas out there trying to create a baby. I wish I had even an ounce of wisdom to share with you.

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