Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Not Quite Ready For Baby #2

When is the right time to have baby #2? That is what I find myself wondering lately. It seems everyone and their dog has an opinion about it.

"Oh... you are going to have 2 before 2? That's going to be hard."
"Three years apart is the perfect age gap."
"When is the next baby coming? You don't want them to be too far apart!"

You wouldn't believe how many complete strangers have asked me if I want another child. I feel very awkward answering them.

Do I want another baby? Yes. But just because I want one doesn't mean I can have one. Don't get me wrong - I certainly have no reason to believe I will have problems conceiving another child. I just don't take fertility for granted.

Do I want another baby? Yes. But not yet. I realize I am not a spring chicken, and time is ticking, but I feel like I have just finally recovered. I need to feel good about myself before I sacrifice all of me again.

Do I want another baby? No. Sometimes I just feel like I am happy giving my son all of my love, and question if I have enough to spare for a new life.

Do I want another baby? Yes. But the thought of being pregnant for 10 months again, and then breastfeeding is so overwhelming. I need to prepare myself for another 2 years of being a vessel for another human.

Many women I know with children my son's age (or younger) have already had another, or are trying to conceive like mad. Some days I see new babies and just melt, feeling like I want one so bad. Other days I feel completely overwhelmed just trying to deal with the one I have.

I wonder if it will ever become 100% clear that it is time for baby #2, or if I will just have to logically plan it out like a scheduled event, fearing the space between siblings, and my age becoming a factor.

When did you know it was the right time to have baby #2? Let me know in the comments below!

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