Things Don't Get Easier, Only Different.

Recently a few friends of mine have had babies, and it got me thinking about being a new mom. Also, my son turned two and I've been reflecting about those first few months. For me, it was such an overwhelming experience. Not only was I learning how to truly take care of another human for the first time, but the personal changes in my lifestyle were hard to accept.

New Baby, New Mom

Looking back now, there are times I actually wish I had a new baby instead of a toddler. They were so easy... sleep, eat, cry, coo, repeat... right? But when I was in it, it wasn't easy. The lack of sleep was severely impactful. Feeling like I was doing everything wrong when I couldn't get him to stop crying was soul crushing. Barely finding the time to eat, shower, or brush my teeth made me feel like I had lost my identity; My only purpose was to be a mom... and that was hard.

During the first months of being a mom I never thought I would look back in two years and think that time was easy. And it reality, it wasn't -- because I was learning an immense amount of shit in a very short amount of time. It's like when you look back at a relationship and only remember the good times even thought there was a lot of strife. Maybe this happens for an evolutionary reason; so we forget how bad it was and want to procreate again. At any rate, while I certainly don't know everything about raising a baby now, I ended up figuring out a system and process that worked for me, and things got easier. But here's the catch: as those things got easier, other crazy hard new things began to develop. And there I was, clueless again.

I'm sure if you asked older mothers, this is just the nature of raising a child. You finally figure out one milestone and the next comes and kicks you in the ass. This is why I say things don't get easier, they just get different. This is why looking back I remember more good than bad; because I figured those early trials out, and they don't seem so challenging anymore. The upcoming unknowns and the ones I'm currently in the thick of seem much more daunting than the stuff I have already made it through.

Having a toddler is a lot easier, and a lot harder than having a baby. He can tell me what's wrong, he sleeps through the night, he's super funny, and he has basic needs that I understand how to fulfill - which are all great. But he also expects fairly constant entertainment with parent participation, and the games he enjoys at this stage I personally find so boring and hard to get into. He is starting to do bad things like hit, yell, and throw stuff when he's mad, and if I don't watch him for one minute you better believe he's into something he shouldn't be.

I love my son, and I love that he challenges me every day. I feel like a bad mom when I admit to finding his stages a struggle, but the reality is going through these periods with him do make me a better person. It's this perspective I try to keep when I am tired of it all. Being a mom has made me learn more about myself than I ever thought possible, and while it's hard, it's a process that only expands my knowledge and perception. For this, I am grateful for all the daily struggles.

The Up-Side Of Difficult Situations

This weekend my son full on adult threw up for the first time. This might not seem like anything super traumatic, but I only realized it happened after I smelled vomit when I went in to check on him before heading to bed. There he was, sleeping face down in, and covered head to toe in vomit. I was sick to my stomach, not because of the smell, but because of how absolutely horrible and guilty I felt.

How could I not have heard this happen? How could I let him sleep like this? I was clearly a bad parent.

I gathered my emotions and woke him up, undressing him and trying to comfort him as I dealt with cleaning up the mess.

To The Mom Alone With A Toddler At The Pool

To the Mom alone with a toddler at the pool,

I saw you yesterday at swimming lessons and I couldn't stop thinking about you. It seems like such a simple thing - taking your child to the pool. But I know these basic events, things meant to be fun, can be exhausting.

I'm sorry I never offered to help you when your child was running on the wet floor and you were trying to get changed. I know how hard it can be to watch a toddler, especially in a weird wet place where you have no choice but to get naked at one point. I'm sure running after a child in a towel half draped around you feels demeaning. I wish our pool facilities offered good options for parents.

Please know I can relate, and hope you don't feel embarrassed. I want you to know that I see you.

• I see you trying to prevent a squirmy restless toddler from entering the pool before his lesson time.
• I see you dreading the inevitable fall when your kid runs on the wet pool deck.
• I see you trying your best to participate in the songs that occupy 75% of the swimming lesson curriculum, even though they are just so stupid.
• I see you giving up half way through the lesson, because 15 minutes of making your child cry is long enough.
• I see you wishing you had an extra set of hands, or eyes, to deal with your kid while you pulled everything out of your locker.
• I see you praying your child won't fall off that small bench he was laying on while you reach for something just out of your grasp.
• I see you hesitate about how modest you will be, and then forgo everything because it's just easier and faster to be buck naked then worry about another mom seeing your postpartum body.
• I see you spend all the time making your child dry and comfortable, and 1 minute or less on yourself.

Most of all I just want you to know that I see how great of a mother you are. Sometimes the small things we do for our kids are really hard, and no one acknowledges them. So, mom at the pool with a toddler, I just wanted to say that you rock. Your child is so lucky to have such a selfless mom.

Oh, and the next time I see you, I'll be sure to offer to chase your little one around for a couple minutes so you don't have to worry about running around with your lady bits exposed.

Love,

CIO Mom

How To Disable That Darn Home Button on Your (child's) iPad

My son is one and I let him use my iPad. To be honest, I wish he cared about it more some days, so I could have 10 minutes to do a couple things around the house while he was distracted. In truth, he can't really focus on it much at this stage, but what he does absolutely love is the frickin' home button.

Whether it's on the iPad or my phone, the boy can't get enough of that enticing home button. I think him and Siri are best friends at this point, because I hear her telling him she 'doesn't understand' or 'didn't quite get that' at least a few times a day.

As soon as I get a cute age appropriate learning app set up on the iPad, my son pushes the home button and the app closes. I resolved that he was just to young to play with a tablet, but then he gets mad because he wants the app back on the screen, but over and over again, he just can't resist touching that circular finger magnet.

I finally went searching for a solution after he continually closed the Skype camera by pressing the home button while talking with his Grandma. Low and behold, there is a way to disable the home button for children built right into the iPad! I decided to post how to do it, because it's a bit hidden, in case anyone else was having the same issue.

1) Go into your iPad Settings- General                   

          

2)Find and click on Accessibility

Scroll to the very bottom in accessibility and click on Guided Access. Turn on Guided access, and click on Passcode Settings to set a password to exit guided access, if your child is old enough to figure out how to triple click the home button to exit. 

  

Now go into any app and triple click the home button. A a new menu will pop up that asks you if you want to start Guided Access, and also displays other options. Select what you want to do and hit start.

If the home button is pressed while Guided Access is on in an app, nothing will happen. In order to exit the app you need to triple click the home button and enter your password. You can then hit end to stop guided access.

Voilà! Now your little one can press the strangely desirable circle as much as he wants, and play with the app too.

Hope this helps you as much as it helped me! Let me know if you have any questions.