Believe it or not, before I was a mom I worked for a living. I worked a lot. I loved my job and I invested passion and energy into my industry. With over a decade of work experience, it's hard not to compare parenting to a regular job. What would the differences be? How are things easier, or more difficult?
Check out this comprehensive list below, and if you can relate, have a laugh with me at the reality of our new-found parenting lives.
YOU aren't ABLE TO SUBMIT OVERTIME PAY
Extra compensation? Not likely, unless you will accept hugs and moments of overwhelming pride as payment.
You are only allowed to take a lunch break when your boss is sleeping
You better scarf it all in before she wakes up, or you might not get another opportunity.
YOUR BOSS constantly wants TO SEE WHAT is ON YOUR COMPUTER
Not just looking, but smashing. And grabbing. Your boss is very grabby.
Wearing pajamas
to work is 100% acceptABLE
Who needs a dress code? No makeup required at this job. You're probably just going to get filthy in the first 20 minutes anyways.
YOU are ON CALL 24/7
Your business phone must be on at all times. You must respond to every email you receive, immediately. Be prepared for an emergency phone call at least once a week.
You are also the office janitor
There isn't enough in the budget at this office to hire help. You better get used to emptying the trash and cleaning the floors daily.
YOUR ONLY FRIENDS are YOUR CO-WORKERS
Forget your social life. This job consumes so much of your life, only people doing the same thing are relatable now.
You have to
work weekends
This job requires you 7 days a week. If you are lucky you can have a co-worker cover for you so you can have a sleep in every once in a while.
YOUR BOSS is COMPLETELY INEXPERIENCED, AND YOU are RESPONSIBLE FOR TRAINING her
Looking after your boss is surprisingly similar to caring for a child.
You don't get
any sick days
Push through the pain and find a way to make it look like you are working, even though you have totally tuned out.
YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR BOSS WHEN HE IS SICK
Your boss doesn't take sick days either; instead he expects you to make him feel better.
You have no
privacy
You literally can't even use the office restroom without someone inquiring about where you are, and possibly even joining you.
You receive no
training, but are expected to be perfect immediately
You are thrown into the job completely blind, and every time you make a mistake you feel extreme guilt.
Your PERFORMANCE is constantly compared to your co-workers
Just when you think you are doing a pretty good job, someone comes along and does it way better.
You are FIRED after 18 years of dedicated selfless work
After all of the sacrifice, your boss decides he doesn't need you on staff anymore. There is no severance package.
Yikes! Makes my office job seem like a breeze! BTW, if your boss is that grabby it is sexual harassment and you should report it to their superior. Who is that in this scenario?
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