The Morning After A Night Out is What Matters the Most

The other night I went out with a group of ladies (for the first time in far too long). Naturally, the conversation turned to our partners who were at home watching the kids. Some women were getting update texts from home, while others enjoyed a baby-free phone-zone for the night. It got us talking about how it's not so much the evening away that is important, but rather, the morning after.

Before becoming a parent I didn't realize what the big deal was with a mom or dad going out for an evening. Some spouses seemed furious that their partners were having a night out. Now I know why; It's not about that night, it's about the morning after. I'm not exactly sure why, but I can tell you from experience that it is infuriating when you are doing everything solo for a day while your spouse nurses a hangover.

One night, when we were young and naive about the morning after hell, my husband and I both partied way to hard, and ended up on a rotating nap shift for the entire day. To cope in the morning one of us engaged our baby for as long as we could, and then tagged out the other from the bedroom when we couldn't take it anymore. We learned our lesson - absolutely nothing is worth going through that again.


As a result of that experience, although my husband and I try to go out and take advantage of offers as much as we can, our evenings come with a discussion about who is really going to have a good night, and who is going to be up with the boy in the morning. In the grand scheme of things it is, of course, nice to have a night together no matter the circumstances, but it does change the mental state of the person who drew the small straw. Even when the night out doesn't include booze, if it is a late one the 6am wake up call hurts bad.

Another point -- and I realize some parents reading this still have very small children who don't sleep through the night, and others have difficult sleepers -- generally my son goes to bed at 7pm and sleeps right through until the sun comes up. I mean, he wakes up in the night and might squawk once or twice, but he just rolls over and goes back to sleep. So really, in my household, the evening is the simple part of things. It's the morning that matters.

I am so grateful when a family member offers to watch my son so my husband and I can go out for the evening, but I definitely have to think about not staying out too late or having too many drinks because someone has to get up in the morning and take care of a small child. If the offer came with a morning after inclusion -- oh my god I'd be jumping for joy.

I feel like this revelation would be a really great business opportunity for someone. 'Morning Shift Sitters' could be a cash cow, marketing to all the parents who really need a babysitter to arrive at their place at 6am and take care of the kids until the parents recover from a late night out. I know I would pay a premium for this service, because in reality this would be the babysitter actually doing things with my child. The evening ones just watch TV and eat my food while my son saws logs.

For now I guess I'll keep curbing my nights out and making deals with my husband for whose turn it is to have a good kid-free evening. Soon enough the babies will be grown and able to get themselves up and fed in the morning... that happens at like, 3 years old... right? ;)